So, according to my blog stats, it has been 5 1/2 months since the last time I wrote anything. What in the world have I been doing? I write that as if you are asking the question, but I am the one who is actually asking it. What HAVE I been doing? That’s a bunch of time to be non-blogging.
Sometimes I just stop doing things with no definite reason. Am I the only one? It’s like when I was little and taking tap dance. One day, I announced to my mother that I no longer wanted to take it. The End. There was no real explanation, I even remember that I liked tap dance class! I loved wearing the little pink matching tights and leotard; I liked the sound the shoes made on the floor when I walked up the stairs to class; I liked watching myself in the tall mirrors; and I liked getting to do dance recitals an being a star. So, why did I do it?Your guess is as good as mine-I could have been on Broadway by now. Then, there was the time that I got on board the latest fitness craze…..hahaha! Wait, that’s hilarious. That happens all the time, and I’m just lazy. There, that’s a credible reason, but sometimes it’s not as cut and dried.
I try to analyze my motivation all of the time. So these are the “maybes” that I’ve come up with concerning my season of non-blogging. Maybe I didn’t think there was enough response. Maybe I thought that it should propel me into the literary world with a bang. Maybe I didn’t write as consistently as others and my unconventional approach means that I’m not a good writer. Maybe I wasn’t organized enough. Maybe my content wasn’t timely and gut-wrenching enough to garner enough followers. Maybe I was lazy. Maybe I got bored. Maybe I’m just a poser (that’s always an option, remember?). Maybe I couldn’t concentrate while my son was raiding everyday with his guild online. Maybe my seasonal affective disorder got the best of me.
Maybe there is no reason.
Regardless of my motivation or lack thereof, I am back to blogging. I decided to give myself assignments, because I’m really just a student at heart. I love assignments. So, I’ll be blogging on my days off to begin with. I’m off on Wednesdays and Sundays. I haven’t come up with any content assignments, so for now I’ll just go with whatever is brewing in this chaotic noggin of mine. Feel free to throw some assignments at me. Random thoughts are the best!
Right now, I’m participating in the Poem A Day (PAD) challenge, so I thought that I would leave you with my first poem about beginnings. (Please understand that this is a first draft!) If you’re a poet, I’d like to encourage you to participate as well. You can find it on the Writersdigest.com website.
In the Beginning
Chaos, formlessness awaiting the spark
Cold, barren, void of life
I hold my not-yet-breathing breath
Waiting to receive
Waiting to conceive
Waiting for the spark to ignite an inferno
My raw senses sound the alarm
Anticipation of first contact
Your touch lights the match
Spreading wildfire through my being
My skin, my flesh, my bones
Being consumed, wanting to consume
As the flames melt the years of desolation
the years of nothingness
the years of sorrow
into tiny innocuous puddles
We blaze until we’re reduced to ashes
Until we burn each other to the ground
Fertilizing the fallow soil
Bringing life to my once empty land
The smoldering embers quietly testify
To the creation of my world
And the genesis of my heart
The dawn of my soul begins